Tuesday, June 28, 2011

K-Y Intimacy Experiment Day 3: Everything Old is New Again

Day 3 of the experiment deals with rediscovering a sense of "newness" in a long-term relationship by remembering what attracted the two of you to each other in the first place. When you first meet a potential partner, your brain releases chemicals (dopamine and norepinephrine) which play a key role in sexual arousal. Most of us probably remember how it feels to fall in love (or lust)- you can't keep your mind off of the person, you get butterflies in your stomach when you see them, and you have your hands all over each other at every opportunity. However, as time goes on, that exciting feeling of new love may transform into a sense of comfort. That's good, in a way, but it could have a negative effect on your sex life. Once in a while, you might want to try re-creating that sense of newness that makes the beginning of a relationship so exciting.

For today's exercise, I'm supposed to list as many things as I can about my partner that turned me on when we first met. So, here we go:
  • He had long, dark hair. I dig that.
  • Cute smile
  • Blue eyes (dark hair and blue eyes is my favorite combination)
  • Played guitar well
  • Had some tattoos
  • Good taste in books (I worked at a book store and we both loved Kurt Vonnegut)
  • Sexy voice
  • Good sense of humor
  • Intelligent
  • Liberal ideology, but didn't want to talk about politics too much
  • Nice butt
  • Generally just my type
I'm also supposed to list negative attributes. This isn't going to be a very long list, really.
  • Sometimes wants to nap all afternoon when I'd rather be doing something together
  • Snores
  • Can be somewhat egotistical at times (this was more at the beginning of the relationship, haven't noticed it happening much lately)
  • Not that great at saving money
  • Can be a sore loser when playing board games, and thus no longer plays chess with me
Now, I'm supposed to consider how the negatives have gotten in the way of experiencing the positives. Most of the negatives rarely bother me in any significant way. I suppose that if he spent less time napping and saved more money, we could go out and do fun things together more often. We're both content to spend time at home together most of the time, though.

The booklet suggests a role playing activity in which you and your partner assume new identities, head to a pre-determined location separately, and pretend to meet for the first time. I can see how that would be fun for some people, but personally I would just feel like a dumbass and probably bust out laughing. I'm not the world's best actress. But, if you really want to get that "new love" feeling back, you might want to give it a try!

Would you like to participate in the K-Y Intimacy Experiment? Just visit the KY Experiment tab on COUPLES PLACE. Also, check out my giveaway for a chance to win a great K-Y kit!

Disclosure: I wrote this post while participating in a blog campaign on behalf of K-Y® Brand and also received product samples to help facilitate my review.